I can see you ahead of me,
But I'm not always forward thinking,
I'll tell you what you want to hear,
It depends on what I've been drinking ..
When I was in Leeds, I once overheard a conversation in a pub between the woman behind the bar, an older male customer she knew, and a girl who knew neither of them. The guy must have complimented the girl in some way, said she looked very athletic or something, because I heard her say that she appreciated the compliment, but that she never worked out. They had a brief chat and she left.
When she's gone, the barwoman leans over and says to the bloke "I'm really glad you said something. I was going to comment on her body too but I didn't want her to think I was coming on to her". And the older gent sips his pint and says "Yeah, well. You can't be too careful these days."
I liked that. These days. As if somehow you'd be forgiven for thinking gay people only got to Leeds not too long ago.
So they chat a little bit more, then the barlady lets out a little laugh and a long sigh and says "God, I'm so homophobic". But it was the way she said it, in a way that I wish I could replicate for you here. It wasn't remotely nasty or negative. It was the same tone you might use if you'd had a long day at work, sighed and said "God, I'm so tired".
Anyway, it made me laugh.
I mention this anecdote because the subject matter has the vaguest of tie-ins with the main part of this post
I saw a thing recently about some ancient scroll which has been discovered which supposedly proved that Jesus had a wife. The BBC news article mentioned something about how this, if true, could call the idea of celibacy and the role of women within Christianity into question. Because, according to Christianity, Jesus never married.
Regardless of whether or not its true, I wonder why arguments like 'Jesus was never married' aren't thrown around as much during debates about the relationship
between religion and gay people. I think the fact that Jesus was single for all of his 33 years adds some real substance to the theory that he was gay. I would dearly love for that to someday be proved the truth. Gay Jesus. He would become a global gay icon, and America would just consume itself.
But, as it stands now, homosexuality is just a spectacular cop-out answer for angry Christian fundamentalists. There was a programme on a few months back, following groups in the same vein as Westboro Baptist Church, just looking at their sermons and tenets and whatnot. And one of their fucktard preachers said - and I'm not kidding here - something very similar to "We live on an earth made up of water! The water surrounds us! But it does not fall out, because God is holding it in! But he will not hold it in forever, because of evils such as .." (pause) ".. homosexuality! Homosexuality is sin!"
So yeah, thanks a fucking bunch, homos! Your depravity is ruining our oceans! Gay guys - will you please repent and start having lady sex? The future of the planet is dependent on where you put your cock! Won't somebody please think of the whales?
