In the dark, for a while now,
I can't stay very far,
I can't stay much longer,
Riding my decision home ..
I can't stay very far,
I can't stay much longer,
Riding my decision home ..
Wednesday's winner was Sam Kelly, a straight man trapped in a gay man trapped in a bisexual man's body. The ladies will love him, if not for his singing qualities then because he's the only bloke in the final 10 so far who looks like he could fight someone off if they tried to sexually assault him. The others who made the cut are the inanely named Nu Sxool, who probably won only because they were kids.
Wednesday's dropouts ..
Chica Latina - the singing hairdresser. Good enough singer, but the outfit only really made her attractive in a bovine sort of way and I didn't really like her face. David Walliams comment "you ooze sex" doesn't quite conjure up the image I think he was going for.
Malakai Paul - the little black kid who I swear was also one of the dancers of Twist and Pulse Dance Company. Won the audition after breaking down from stage fright (potential 2013 contestants: crying is a sure-fire audition winner and a brilliant excuse for the judges to kick you off without having to say you're crap). He was good tonight, but did have a little cry into Dec's jacket when he didn't make the final. If I were ever to cry on someones shoulder, it would be Dec.
Gatis Kandis - the poor fucking bloke. Never in television has the sadistic freak show mindset been better personified. In the audition, it might have been funny because he was really struggling and in the early stages, thats almost acceptable. To make him go back out for the live show was cruel. Keep telling yourself that he really knows why people are laughing.
The Sugar Dandies - two gay guys ballroom dance. This act mostly led to comparisons to me and my friend Dan. Given the choice, I prefer the Del Boy and Rodney comparison.
Beatrix von Bourbon - her sexy burlesque routine was good but again, a little work on the name wouldn't go amiss. I get that she needs a glamorous burlesque stage name, but it doesn't help when a girl is sensually taking off all her clothes and all I can think about is how nice a chocolate biscuit would be.
Be Minor - girl group. Meh.
Brynolf and Ljung - stonking magicians. Maybe not Royal Variety, but insanely talented.
I miss Dennis Egel already.
