It's gonn' rain down like black hell,
You don't know what it's like to be dead,
I'mma teach you now, teach you well,
It's gonn' rain down like black hell ..
Top story on BBC news: "Justin Timberlake has kept a promise he made to a member of the US Armed Forces by escorting her to a ball on Saturday night".
Thank goodness for that.
I'm back at uni because my sleeping patterns still buggered. It's been another corker so far.
As I was walking into uni about an hour ago, some bloke shouted "hey!" as I got on campus. I had the initial pang of 'shit I'm about to get mugged' feeling you get just because you're alone and it's dark. I turned round and there was a guy over the road wearing a bicycle helmet but without a bike. I looked at him and he shouted "D'you know if there's a shop open near here?" And I told him no, with the most condescending look I could muster, the facial equivalent of "why are you asking, its 3 in the fucking morning", and "where's your bicycle you helmet-wearing moron?"
Not 5 minutes into reaching the cluster and logging on, another guy walks in and slumps into the chair next to mine. Alarm bells are ringing again because there are 40 other free computers in a room half the size of a sports hall. Am I about to get mugged in a computer cluster? Then he goes "Man, I've had such a terrible night". I think he was moving along the lines of me to follow up with "Aw, y'wanna talk about it champ?", but when its 4am and I'm in the swing of working, I don't really give two shits about anything short of a buffet opening outside.
Anyway, I think I grunted, probably with my eyebrows raised a little too high. Our conversation went as follows.
Guy: Yeah, sorry to bother you, I've just had a really terrible night.
Me: Uh-huh.
Awkward silence
Guy: Yeah, it's just been really bad.
Me: Shit ... (Silence goes on too long) .. what happened?
Guy: Just about everything (I fucking hate this response)
Me: Just before you carry on, nobody's died right? I dunno how to handle stuff like that.
Awkward silence. Guy just stares off into space. I start thinking oh fucknuts, someones died.
Guy: No, no-ones died. I just had a big argument with my girlfriend .. (dramatic pause, big intake of breath) .. it turns out she's pregnant.
Me, expecting something more overwhelming: .. Uh-huh .. (Regain composure) .. Ahh shit.
Guy: Yeah ..
Awkward silence
Me: There's worse things could happen though, right?
Guy: .. I guess.
And then he left, leaving me with an all too brief feeling of 'am I a terrible person?' I feel bad for his predicament but jesus he was annoying. There are worse things in the world than a pregnant girlfriend. Unless it's not his. Or maybe she has a very angry conservative family who've been saving her for marriage. Or maybe she's not pregnant at all, she was just using it as blackmail in the heat of their argument. Man, I should write a sitcom for these people.
One thing I realised during the beginning of the conversation was that I carried the thing on. There's a technique apparently that high pressure salesman use when trying to make a sale: at the end of their pitch, the salesman says nothing, and if the customer feels the need to continue the conversation and say something, the guy is more likely to make a sale. Apparently I'd be crap at rebuffing sales.
Just to deviate before I finish up I had a dream the other week where me and my good buddy Dan were working together in an office somewhere, and on that particular day, Hitler started working at the office. All I remember is that me and Dan were standing in some generic office environment and Dan turns to me and says, perfectly seriously "So, do we just call him Hitler or what?". I'm pretty sure this is one of the best dreams I've ever had.
Last thing: I also have to walk past some student halls on the way to the computer room I use. There was just general fresher noise as I went by, but as I got to the end, somebody started blasting out christmas music. It's November 15th. The fucking 15th. I enjoy christmassy music; it makes me want to frolic and reminds me of childhood, but this is entirely too early for christmas music. It's like someone singing you happy birthday a month and a half early. It's out of control. This is the time when we actually need the Grinch to steal christmas, or at the very least borrow it and then give it us back in a month or so.
Until it's colder, and December, I'll endeavour to be that Grinch.
