Like a drunk in a midnight choir,
I have tried in my way to be free ..
So I got a haircut recently, months and months after I promised myself one. I had it done in Huddersfield, as always, purely because it's the same woman and we have crappy hairdresser conversations that amount to nothing but pass the time beautifully. It must've been the 5th or 6th time she's done it now and although I still haven't got to the point where I can stroll in and ask for "the usual", she still always asks "what are we having today then?" in a way which suggests she can sense the same-old answer.
One day I'll surprise her. I'll go back in about 4 or 5 months and she'll be all "What's it gonna be this time?" and I'll respond with "Hitler youth". Just for the reaction. Or challenge her; "Yeah, I'd like two donkeys fucking under a sunset shaved into the back".
The only thing I've really learnt is that my new shorter hair doesn't respond well to spending the day under a bobble hat.
Recent stats checks show a hit yesterday from getdentalimplantsinfo.com" and 3 hits for "80s crisps". These don't quite measure up to the current champion "european romantic mild porn" which came up a few months back, but they're the best ones of late.
When I was roaming round uni earlier, I caught the briefest of snippets of a conversation of two people walking by. All I heard was "yeah, but the worst thing that can happen is you'll die". I wanted to know what came before that, and after a lot of walking-home-deliberation, it strikes me that there aren't a great many scenarios where dying is the worst thing. I feel worse things would be stuff like paralysis, brain damage, becoming a vegetable trapped in your body or maybe a coma.
I feel I can't bring much to the euthanasia debate. In my opinion, we should pull the plug. I understand the family and friends holding out for a glimmer of hope; thats pretty much by-the-by. I don't really understand the religious angles on this sort of thing, which is that we shouldn't do it because only God can take a life. To these people I say: maybe God is saying "hey, can you pull the plug? I've been trying to take this person for 5 years but you keep feeding them."
Consider this my will. If that ever happens to me, I wouldn't like to be kept alive. I'd feel bad for my family having to take care of me. Unless Kellie or Dan offer to adopt me, then just pull the plug.
I have an idea for a sitcom about a guy in a coma and his carer, and whenever the carer's back's turned, the coma guy gets up to zany antics behind his back. But, you ask, how does he do zany stuff when he's in a coma? That's it! He's not really in a coma! The other guy just thinks he is! When his back's turned, zany shit goes down! "Zany" is how critics will describe this sitcom!
There will also be a neighbour, some sassy precocious black kid who knows the coma guy's secret. He'll be played by Jaden Smith. He'll walk in and go "What up, veg?" to which coma guy will respond "West-siiiiiiide" because thats how he imagines black kids talk. And inbetween the zany antics, there'll be life lessons about not judging people because of the colour of their skin, played out in the form of the banter between coma guy and the black kid, Tyrone.
Helmed by J.J.Abrams, this will be bold television.
