Travelling swallowing Dramamine,
Feeling spaced breathing out Listerine ..
Feeling spaced breathing out Listerine ..
I'm in Birmingham at the moment, for the first time ever. I'm feeling rather sedate, which is odd given that I'm here with the old housemates and Uni's all finished for Easter and whatnot, but hopefully I can recount recent events and happenings with an appropriate degree of enthusiasm. After a drive involving traffic jams, pick 'n' mix, road rage and stops at service stations because Dora needed another wee, we made it to Solihull, "the posh bit".
I've kipped in 2 houses and met a multitude of housemate relatives and can say with conviction that Birmingham is a safe place to visit. It doesn't seem to have the same plethora of weirdo's that I've encountered in the North, nor does it have the wondrous yet confusingly dangerous Tube system of the South.
This may be just me, but personal experience of the Tube has been less than peachy.
Our craving for fun today led us to a garden centre-y thing that sold interesting things like Coi carp and reptiles and other strange animals. Depressingly, having given a lot of thought to visiting exotic places and seeing the wildlife, the place that I first saw a real chameleon eat a live locust with its tongue was in a Birmingham garden centre. It didn't really detract from the experience, I just didn't expect to see it while standing with a brummy bloke in a polo shirt with a garden centre logo. I also didn't think the chameleon would appear from a glass box with "Not for sale, the manager's pet" daubed on it.
There were also some fuck-off spiders in tubs, which gave me more of a reaction of "oh shit" as opposed to "yay" like the over-enthusiastic kid who was also having a gander.
Young man, you're celebrating the presence of an 8 legged hairy thing that could kill you with a bite and would turn a lot of people in this room, myself included, into absolute wrecks. Save your enthusiasm for elsewhere. Go and look at the tropical fish section. Also, Kellie? If you're reading this mate, then this garden centre is a no-go for you. Oh, and that thing I said about big spiders in Bordeaux was a lie. I'm sorry.
Tea is being prepared now. My offers to help have been turned down on a basis that wasn't really explained to me, which I still don't really understand myelf. I wasn't even allowed to help chop the carrots for Christ's sake.
I've kipped in 2 houses and met a multitude of housemate relatives and can say with conviction that Birmingham is a safe place to visit. It doesn't seem to have the same plethora of weirdo's that I've encountered in the North, nor does it have the wondrous yet confusingly dangerous Tube system of the South.
This may be just me, but personal experience of the Tube has been less than peachy.
Our craving for fun today led us to a garden centre-y thing that sold interesting things like Coi carp and reptiles and other strange animals. Depressingly, having given a lot of thought to visiting exotic places and seeing the wildlife, the place that I first saw a real chameleon eat a live locust with its tongue was in a Birmingham garden centre. It didn't really detract from the experience, I just didn't expect to see it while standing with a brummy bloke in a polo shirt with a garden centre logo. I also didn't think the chameleon would appear from a glass box with "Not for sale, the manager's pet" daubed on it.
There were also some fuck-off spiders in tubs, which gave me more of a reaction of "oh shit" as opposed to "yay" like the over-enthusiastic kid who was also having a gander.
Young man, you're celebrating the presence of an 8 legged hairy thing that could kill you with a bite and would turn a lot of people in this room, myself included, into absolute wrecks. Save your enthusiasm for elsewhere. Go and look at the tropical fish section. Also, Kellie? If you're reading this mate, then this garden centre is a no-go for you. Oh, and that thing I said about big spiders in Bordeaux was a lie. I'm sorry.
Tea is being prepared now. My offers to help have been turned down on a basis that wasn't really explained to me, which I still don't really understand myelf. I wasn't even allowed to help chop the carrots for Christ's sake.
