Mammoth

Goodbye ruby tuesday,

Who could hang a name on you?

When you change with every new day,

Still I'm gonna miss you ..

I'm becoming slowly more certain that my sources of information being used for my dissertation are drying up a lot faster than anticipated, which should mean that my essay survival instinct will kick in shortly; that is, opening the floodgates of stuff previously deemed " not relevant", "wrong" or "do not use in dissertation at any cost" and rebranding it as useful waffle with which to supplement what'll probably be a frail word count.

I ventured out into Huddersfield today for the first time in ages to use the library, which was full of pensioners and old black guys apart from the two lacquered grandmas running the show. I got some work done, so I might start making this a regular thing.

After a fortnight of lying round at home worrying about money and searching for dissertation inspiration and not producing anything substantial, just getting out of the house and seeing other real people doing people things again was great. And like I say, it gave me a proper chance to translate some academic thoughts to paper, instead of having them just bounce round my brain like a roomful of toddlers high on oreos and meth.

Of late I've started doing that thing we all do where you make a mental list of all the crazy shit you'd do if you suddenly ran into some money. And not a couple of quid on the pavement, I'm talking the lottery or a dead relative leaving you a metric fuckton of inheritance cash.

Apart from the supreme amount of travel, I'd start with a Woolly Mammoth.

Hell yeah.

I can't think of anything else that would sum up my position atop the financial heap than a Woolly Mammoth. I'd keep him in the room with the dogs, because amid the barking and farting they probably wouldn't be phased by a Mammoth, who I'd call Oppenheimer.

What happens thereafter remains negotiable. In any case though, the future spent travelling may have to be put on hold seeing as I'd be the owner of a 10 foot tall supply of sweaters and rugs which I'd have to feed and presumably walk.