Internet distractions

Cause I love to live so pleasantly,

Live this life of luxury,
Lazing on a sunny afternoon,
In Summertime ..

The weather has got really shite of late, which I imagine is what's left of New York's recent tropical storm, except downgraded again to "very windy and with lots of spitty rain".

This week I've become nocturnal again. I managed this a few times in 2009/10, but this was at least 2 or 3 months into the academic year. This time round it's about a month before I've even started. I don't know if this is really "start as you mean to go on" material, but either way, it's really screwing with my head. I woke up at 10 past 6 in the evening today. I'd slept for 16 hours.

We had our internet installed last week, which I think is the main reason for me becoming nocturnal. The internet guy was a Geordie bloke, the kind that I only thought existed in anecdotes that people tell involving Geordie blokes, where they put on a propa Geordie accent to really accentuate the Geordieness. But no, they exist. It was mindblowing. He even said stuff like "why-aye" and "canny man". He finished with "gissies a ring on't morrow if there's summick wrong wi yer connection". Just beautiful.

So last night I downloaded and watched Black Swan and Million Dollar Baby. Black Swan was awesome and creepy in a way I wasn't really expecting, and although Mila Kunis is a very good actress in addition to being fucking gorgeous, she killed the film at the same time for me because every time she opens her mouth, it's just Meg Griffin again, which took any emotional whatnot right away.


Black Swan is supremely better than Million Dollar Baby. I'd heard good things, but it wasn't that good. It's sad and depressing, but that's about it. All it really proved is that Morgan Freeman, who is getting on a bit now, needs to make a film before he dies in which he plays a real, evil tosser. And not just the moody grizzled type like he is in Se7en, or a bit of a bastard like in Wanted. I mean a complete fucking prick. Because half the runtime of Million Dollar Baby is punctuated with Morgan Freeman's soft spoken black man narration to the point that you sit back and wait for the Shawshank Redemption music to begin. I'd write the 'bastard' film for him myself.

The best current working title is "Kitten stomper". Two hours of Morgan Freeman breaking into houses and catteries, incapacitating the owners, and then stomping on all the kittens. Helmed by Danny Boyle, this will be an excellent film.

"Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I just wanted to stomp on kittens. And I figured y'either get busy stomping, or y'get busy dying."

Yeah.

Now I'm gonna go to sainsbury's and buy something cheap and tasty for dinner. If they still have their '80 chicken nuggets for a fiver' deal on, I'm eating like a king tonight.