Different classes of strange people.

I need a gun to keep myself from harm,

The poor people are burning in the Sun ..
And they ain't got a chance, they ain't got a chance,
I need a gun, 'cos all I do is dance,
Cos' all I do is dance ..

Gorillaz are back again, yo.

I've just come across a story on BBC news about veteran Tory MP Nicholas Winterton. It seems, that in light of recent spending cuts, MP's are no longer allowed to travel First Class on trains. Or something like that, it wasn't completely clear. In any case, this smarmy twat has kicked out against this rule in such typical Tory fashion - that is, 'it's one rule for us and another for everyone else'. His argument had some decent ground at first - since he will now have to travel standard class - "I would not do work because people would be looking over your shoulder the entire time, there would be noise, there would be distraction." Fair point. The whole illusion was shattered however when he added one of the most cringeworthy quotes of 2010: "They are a totally different type of people".

Credit where it's due in this case to Cameron's swift handling of the carryonsky - "A Tory spokesman said Sir Nicholas's remarks were "the out-of-touch views of a soon-to-retire backbench MP". Ha, bet he feels a twat now. Not even the Tories want you. Ha.

I say gas them, gas them all!

At the other end of the spectrum, I saw a bloke in Headingley today walking up past Sainsbury's with a can of Stella in his jacket breast pocket. Think about that. It's 8:30am. He has a can of Stella in his fucking pocket. You simply couldn't attempt to offend a guy like that. Imagine if you saw him with his kids, in a hypothetical situation, and you cursed loudly in front of them accidentally:- "Sorry mate, I didn't realise you had kids, I didn't mean to swe- you know what, you don't even care. You have a can of Stella in your pocket. Fuck it". Combined with his denim jacket and unkempt 80's pornstar moustache he made an impressive sight. Anyone who walks around in that getup just screams "I gave up a long time ago. Fuck off and leave me be."

This would have completed him

His morning routine must be great. Mine goes: 'wallet, phone, keys, pen, bag with notebook'. His must involve just slapping his pockets and going 'Wallet, Stella.. Let's go'. I also like to imagine he makes reference to it a lot in conversation, and says things at home like "Gosh darn it, where's my Stella .. Oh wait, it's here in my pocket! Right where I left it!"

I want the two people described in this blog to meet one day. On a train.