No resolution for crap .

I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing,
Roman cavalry choirs are singing,
Be my mirror, my sword, my shield,
My missionaries in a foreign field ..

Fuck bureaucracy.

It seems new developments are afoot in the ongoing saga of Max's financial crusades. We've already established the current money situation, or lack thereof, and yesterday provided another kick in the teeth for the whole situation. It seems that Leeds University require a £25 fee for not being able to take my tuition payment on the day that they'd have liked. "Why was the money not in your account on said day?", I hear you cry! Because it wasn't ready, was it Leeds? Remember, like I told you it wouldn't be? When I trecked down to and navigated the E.C.Stoner building, labyrinthine hellhole of the Gods, to find your office and tell you that my money would be unavailable on this date? Did this slip your mind? You bastards.

So now I'm forking out another weeks worth of money, which will probably end up in the pocket of the pencilpushers who drafted the scattershot money rules. Another condition of the first rule is that if I don't pay the original £25 fee, I get charged the same amount again. I've spent last night and today thinking about how I can turn this completely negative situation into something that slightly less resembles anal rape, but no luck as of yet. Open to suggestion. Email me.

Christmas is also steadily approaching, or has already arrived if you're unlucky enough to live in one of those places that sells christmas cards from mid-September onwards. Another ceremony to the plastic machinations of our consumer economy, which continues its spiralling journey downward ever more. God bless the ravenous devouring of unabashed shit and marked-down prices on plastic stuff that cost pennies, if not less, to make and import. So, will we all get what we asked for? Crappy miscellanea, that will blink and serve standalone functions, all of which perform at lesser quality than a multiple function item of the same purpose? I try my best not to be "Ebenezer Martin", in the words of a great friend, during this time. Maybe its just the money situation, or the fact that the weather is shite, or that there's yet more German to do. Modern Warfare 2, never have you looked so tempting as you do now.

I have another lecture at 4.00. Thankfully not more German, but my policing module. Interesting stuff, I'll tell you about it one day. One day.

The real issue

Quando sono sola
sogno all'orizzonte
e mancan le parole,
si lo so che non c'è luce
in una stanza quando manca il sole,
se non ci sei tu con me, con me ..

Recently I've been waking up and going to bed nearly every night wondering, "What if I'm making an academic mistake that will cost me £3000+ per semester? This follows on to "What if this is my rational foresight kicking in that I've since masked due to bravado and pride that was falsely created when I was deemed 'special' by means of selection?"

Could it be that my non-emotional side, free of the shackles created by the subtle and overt feeling that's accompanied me every time "further education" is mentioned, has spotted the obvious on the horizon and thus begun slipping in the warning bells, the worrying and second guessing? I've always been aware of the expense issues, and have long since ambled away from the monetary concerns, but now some of these things are back, reverberating within my mind. The really worrying fact is that the good old counterpoints to the financial clusterfuck that tuition/housing presents aren't really cooing me to acceptance any longer.

"But are they not paying the majority of the lions share?"

Theoretically yes, but unfortunately it's a massive fuck-off carcass on which the lion dines. Additionally, a happy sizable portion of monies is no longer checked off and taken care of, for one simple (or more accurately, non-existent) reason - no student loan this year. I am unable to "go to plan B" as Captain Mactavish would say. The black and white perspective paints the most accurate portrait available: for 3 years of education and boarding, it will cost me about an entire years worth of earnings that a family of 5 at the poverty line earns. Worry and self doubt swells within me like a rampant venereal disease.

I also fork out £62 tomorrow for the last payment of my christmas trip, a payment frequently and confusingly referred to as a "deposit" by my high-flying housemates. The irony being that we will never, ever get it back. Our trip is to Berlin, a journey that will finally take my Western-Europe virginity, and doubtlessly have another adverse effect on my liver and cholesterol levels. Will the trip turn into the cultural and 'educational' experience that so many have tried to disguise it as, or descend, as pondered, into bratwurst-fuelled debauchery? We shall see.

Argh fuck

Psychic spies from China
Try to steal your minds elation,
Little girls from Sweden
Dream of silver screen quotations ..

Our toilet and shower are on the fritz. The shower is sitting in 3 inches of water, with cloudy black and brown crap seeping out of the plughole. The toilet bowl looks like a vapourised poo factory. We now have one shower and toilet between 8 of us, which is going to make for happy times when we all fight over it. I've binned two towels eliminating the water that keeps leaking out of the pipes.

At the risk of sounding closed minded, I don't like Twilight. Too many people I know went along to the midnight screenings of New Moon for my liking. I recently read the plot(s) for the first time, and some extracts from it, to try and get an idea of what the hell all the hype's about. There is some godawful crap in there.

"Even more, I had never meant to love him. One thing I truly knew - knew it in the pit of my stomach, in the centre of my bones, knew it from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet, knew it in my empty chest - was how love gave someone the power to break you. I'd been broken beyond repair." - from New Moon

Seriously?

Twilight: New Moon - One girl's choice between Necrophilia and Bestiality.

Could this be another literary revolution? The beginning of a beautiful partnership between sun-fearing creatures of legend and the moronic whims of high school girls? Quite possibly - but wait. These are unconventional vampires. They go out in the daytime, they drink from animals and garlic and crosses mean fuck all. Is this where are the interest stems from? A quote on the subject of the Twilight vampires:- "Some vampires have no special abilities, and instead have a prominent personality or physical trait from their human life magnified." What does that encapsulate? Bipolar disorder? The ability to solve rubix cubes quickly?

We've all seen the hordes of screaming teens and their long-suffering mothers whenever Robert Pattinson makes an appearance - a new age freak show, where a delusional crowd flails for their Edward. Having taken a gander at the deep 'subject matter', I can only wonder why. "AAAAH" They write in their diaries, "WHY CAN'T I HAVE A BOYFRIEND LIKE EDWARD?". Ah, maturity.

In non vampire-related news, Modern Warfare 2 is amazingly amazing, if a little disturbing occasionally. Incredibly realistic in the sense that the Russians are killing everyone and everything, the Americans kill the Brits, the Brits are single handedly saving the world, and the French are nowehere to be seen. If you haven't bought it yet, then try and pawn your Twilight tickets on eBay and save up for the game. Chasing Russians on snowmobiles is more fun than chasing the love of a fictional vampire.

Whoops

And if she asks you why,
You can tell her that I told you,
that I'm tired of Castles in the Air ..

I've started seeing more of these handy 'suggestions' for want of a better word, in the top left corner of facebook, encouraging one to 'reconnect' with those I have no desire to be reconnected with. What's its goal? To help you seek out people you couldn't be arsed to keep up with in the first place?

Its November (No, its not christmas yet dearies) which heralds the arrival of the German Kristkindelmarkt in Millenium Square, which a few of my housemates are off to. If the past 2 days and nights hadn't already been filled with more German than you could shake a stick at, I'd be well up for the idea of walking around in the cold of a city centre to look at frankfurters and giant pretzels in their quaint flat-packable stalls. I fear that yet more exposure to German culture in its most distilled form could induce some unconditional Tim-Kretschmer-esque spree, and that might put a strain on my close relations.

I went to a screening of a German film this evening for one of my modules; rather, I went along and slept through 70% of it. Theres a faint biro outline of a cock on my forehead, apparently Max sleeping was a chance that just couldn't be passed up. The film was 'Der Blaue Engel', the film that apparently boosted Marlene Dietrich to global stardom overnight. I tried really hard to appreciate it in the first 20 minutes I was awake for, but couldn't. If you ever have trouble sleeping, tune in to german radio. Its the most sleep-inducing language I've come across.


The brunt of the German work seems to finally be coming to some sort of conclusive end, after a 53 hour-straight work bender. There are still things outstanding, but I have no choice but to sweep them under the rug. Sadly, the oustanding things include grammar, a subject which I've been severely lacking in since post GCSE-euphoria. If only I could inspire myself to learn it.

I feel a bit bad, having devoted so much time to mouthing off about it and then dropping it all of a sudden, but such is life. All things are transient, and so we too must be, lest we become stagnant.

Hence my current hairstyle, which should come to fruition soon.

Pastures new

If I told you things I did before,
told you how I used to be,
Would you go along with someone like me ..?

So, a new blog.

If we're lucky, this one will reach the magnitude of my old myspace one.

Starting a new blog is an idea that was suggested to me by a few people a couple of months back, but it's taken me a while to actually grasp the initiative and start doing it. I guess the main reason for this is the transition from '4 months of nothing' to '2nd year of language degree course', a change that I'm still only getting used to. The second very good reason is that I forgot. The latter reason works for numerous handy things, such as not doing important seminar work and missing out that oh so boring social event that you're expected to go to out of politeness.

I didn't actually plan on kicking off an opening entry with any kind of 'post' as such, but I've spent so much time faffing about over it it seems stupid to leave it just floating in the ether now. That and it's just gone 5am. I have a lecture at 10. Sleep is not an option.

I have a strange inkling that these sleepless work benders are going to become more and more common as the year heads on. I've just finished an essay on globalisation, a topic that quite frankly can find a hole and drown in it. The fact that it was in German hardly helped the general feelings towards it. That has to be submitted tomorrow, god help me if the printers go on one of their 'lets fuck up at the most inconvenient time humanely possible' rampages.

A final item worthy of ironic mention is the stuff thats popping up on and around my facebook page. Not only are there now sexy singles in the Leeds area, I also have 3 friend requests. It seems I've either become insanely attractive to 20-something American women, or I'm being spammed. Me being a scruffy waste of face, i'm settling for the latter. And theres also one of the most wonderful updates I've seen in a while, so without mentioning any names: "[insert name here] feels like shite so im gunna get in bed n watch a nice dvd after iv had a wee." If you're reading this, you know who you are. You make me sob.